Canadian Dream

Canada used to be a place where big dreams could come to life. Sir John A. MacDonald, Sir Wilfred Laurier, John Diefenbaker, Lest Pearson...

now it's a place where dreams die. Thanks, Harper.

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it's a New Day in Canada!

it's a New Day in Canada!


Thanks to the vagaries of our electoral system
and the fact that about 40% of the eligible voters didn't get off their asses to vote, Stephen Harper has the parliamentary majority he's been craving these many years.

Despite the fact that only 25% of the eligible voters in Canada voted for him, He will spend the next four years crowing about His Mandate, and can be even more dismissive of any suggestions that His ideas may be flawed in any way.

Get used to it...

* 

President Stephen Harper

...in FULL EFFECT

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Nightmare on Harper Street - the Bruce Carson Story

After his heart troubles started, Utah Phillips used to tell people he was on a low social-cholesterol diet... no fat heads... and it's in this spirit i've been staying away from any kind of media coverage of the federal election this time.

It's not easy for a political junkie to quit cold turkey, but electorally-speaking, I was already pre-depressed when the writ came down.

I loathe the prime minister. Just the sound of his voice his voice induces bleeding in some of my favourite orifices - actually listening to the what he's saying is like holding a Taser to my forehead and squeezing the trigger.

As for his minions, familiars and the other rent boys that run with him, there are rumours they
all had to take vows of silence before their riding documents got signed. If true, it's the epitome
of a mixed blessing.

Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition

The other parties all seem to be running on
the "we're not him" ticket. A quick scan of their "visions" will probably put most people to sleep
and anyone who actually reads them may experience a craving for lithium.

A praeternaturally cheerful individual on a sunny day in spring might call them "uninspired", but
I am not that person.

To be brief, they are lame beyond measure,
so far inside The Box that the only people who might find them "distinctive" would be the ones who created them up... and "distinctive" is still several area codes distant from "inspiring".

This is not arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. This is folding the napkins...

***

Despite this antipathy, I found myself reading everything I could find tonight about Bruce Carson. Those of you who have been taking their soundbyte supplements cannot imagine the neurological impact of taking it all in at once.

It's a saga! It's an epic tale! It's fricken' Beowolf!

Now I'm inspired... so inspired we're going
to need a sequel here...

- take me to the sequel -

*

Xenophobia Month in Quebec 3 - le Finale

...so how could it get any better in la belle province? how do you come up with an exciting finish to a month of such an incredibly stupid series of events and decisions?

... there was one more variation on the theme of nationalism yet to come - one that would make it loud and clear just how provincial the party apparatchiks of the "nation" of Quebec really are...

fittingly, the grand finale of Xenophobia Month would be a cultural event.

***

This is a picture of a music group called Arcade Fire and this is the opening of the Wikipedia entry on them:

> Arcade Fire is an indie rock band based in Montreal, Quebec. It consists of the husband and wife duo of Win ButlerRégine Chassagne, along with Will Butler, Richard Reed Parry, Tim Kingsbury, Jeremy Gara, and Sarah Neufeld. Arcade Fire came to prominence when they released their debut album Funeral in 2004 to critical acclaim. The band plays guitar, drums, bass guitar, piano, violin, viola, cello, double bass, xylophone, glockenspiel, keyboard, French horn, accordion, harp, mandolin, and hurdy-gurdy. Most of their instruments are taken on tour, and the multi-instrumentalist band members switch duties throughout shows.< and

They are a great band, and they have worked hard over the last 6 years to become one of the finest musical groups currently working the planet over the last 6 years.

They have made 3 albums, one of the most interesting, interactive rock videos ever made and created legendary live performances.

This year, they won the Grammy Award for Album of the Year. They have also won this year's Brit Award (sort of an English Grammy) for Best International Album.  They sit on the band's metaphorical mantel alongside a 2008 Meteor Music Award (sort of an Irish) for Best International Album and a 2008 Juno (Canadian) for Alternative Album of the Year.

As "hot" goes in music these days, they are it. Not just hot for "Canadian". Not just hot for "Montreal". We're talking trans-national, inter-continentally hot.

They are also proud Montrealers.

When they won the Grammy, which this year was watched by more than 25 million people, singer Win Butler, originally from Texas, started his thanks speech en anglais, but then added a "Merci to Montreal, Quebec for taking us and giving us a home....".

Band-mate Régine Chassagne (Butler's wife), a franco Montrealer, added: "Merci Montréal. Merci à tout le monde au Québec."

How cool is that?

***

Be that as it may, within days of their trans-Atlantic awards, the chief organizer of "la Fete Nationale" announced that the band would be welcome to play the event, "as long as they conform to certain guidelines"... which in this case is bureaucrat-speak for "perform entirely in French".

It was not a new ruling or anything. Last year, the master of ceremonies of the Montreal Fete Nationale concert, talk-show host and actor Guy A. Lepage made clear that anglophone artists could only be part of the concert if they sang in French.

Zut alors!

***

"la Fete Nationale" is a Quebec government-sponsored holiday soiree, held in June each year since 1978 to celebrate Quebec-ness.

It's a replacement for St. John the Baptist Day, which had been previously celebrated in Quebec since June, 1636.

***

Twenty-four hours after the czar culturelle de la Fete had made the pronouncement about Arcade Fire, Quebec's culture minister announced she has no problem if an Anglo band — such as Grammy-winning Arcade Fire — ever wanted to sing in English at the Fete nationale.


Voila! un fait accompli!


Alas, the word is that the band already has a gig that night somewhere else.

C'est dommage.

***

As it happens, also, despite all of the other awards the Arcade Fire has never won a Felix award for anything over the past 6 six years.

But as coincidence would have it, a spokeswoman for the Quebec music industry association ADISQ said recent rule changes mean Arcade Fire's latest Grammy-winning album would be eligible for a Felix at the next awards show in October - in the category of best anglophone album.

They would not be eligible for the award for best rock album - only musicians who perform in French are eligible for that.

But I think that maybe if the band was willing to change it's name to le Feu d'Arcade...

SOURCES

Arcade Fire

Bastille Day




the band boosting Montreal and Quebec


CBC and le tempete de la Fete





- 30 -




.

Xenophobia Month in Quebec 2

As part of this month's Xenophobia celebrations, the Quebec National (sic) Assembly adopted a motion supporting the decision by security workers to bar the four Sikh men from entering the building where the Assembly meets.

The motion passed, by a vote of 113-0.
It was unanimous.

***

The men who were turned away were members of the World Sikh Organization of Canada. They had been invited there by a legislative committee to speak to Bill 94 - the so-called niqab law - but that never happened.

“It’s a bit ironic. We were here to speak on the issue of accommodation and we weren’t accommodated,” said the group’s legal counsel, Balpreet Singh.

***

The motion supporting the decision to bar them entrance to the building was made by Louise Beaudoin, the Parti Quebecois member for Montreal Rosemont.

"Are we going to allow the Supreme Court of Canada to dictate to us?" Poirier asked.

She was referring to a 2006 decision, where the Supreme Court of Canada ruled that the kirpan, which Sikhs carry wrapped in fabric under their clothing, is not a weapon but a religious symbol, like a crucifix.

She reminded legislators and reporters that multiculturalism is a Canadian value, not a
Quebec value.

According to Ms. Beaudoin, multiculturalism is "divisive", and part of a larger plot by former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau to marginalize French-Canadians.

She thought the men from the World Sikh Organization had behaved badly.

"Frankly" she said later "they could have made an effort to respect our institutions and our values".

Apparently, irony too is a Canadian value,
not a Quebec value.

***

Carole Poirier, PQ MNA for Hochelaga-Maisonneuve, said banning the kirpan was justified by the May 8, 1984, shooting spree, when Cpl. Denis Lortie, armed with two machine guns, burst into the assembly building, killing three people and wounding 13 others.

There is no record of anyone telling her that her analogy is ridiculous, or that inviting members of a global organization to speak and then fucking them off might be seen as an incredibly ignorant thing
to do...

but to be fair, perhaps good manners, or even sincerity, are just Canadian values too.

***

The move by Quebec politicians might have shocked or disturbed or troubled people in other parts of Canada, Sikhs around the world and who knows how many others, the people at White News Now think it was a right-on thing to do...

Happy Xenophobia Month, y'all.

***

The Parti Quebecois allegedly wants the government to adopt a law banning all ostentatious religious signs. Well, not really. Not all of them.

Not the crucifix that hangs over the Speakers chair in the National (sic) Assembly chamber - the very one mentioned by cab driver Arieh Perecowicz in part one. It was placed there  in 1936, by Quebec Premier Maurice Duplessis, who used to say that he led the “only Catholic government in North America.”

It may look like a religious artifact, but it's not!

Ceci n'est pas un crucifix.

In 2008, Premier Jean Charest put forth a formal motion that changed it from a Catholic religious thing to part of Quebec's "historic heritage."

Hokus pokus! The motion was passed. Unanimously.

...and I don't think the PQ would include the giant cross that lights up at night on the mountain (sic) that overlooks downtown Montreal either.

A giant cross on top of a mountain that lights up in the dark?


Nothing ostentatious about that...

***


..and just when you think the irony can't go on- this just in!

OTTAWA – The World Sikh Organization of Canada (WSO) applauded MPs of all three national parties who opposed the Bloc Quebecois motion to ban a Sikh article of faith, the kirpan, from the House of Commons.

“We want to thank Conservative house leader John Baird, Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff and NDP leader Jack Layton for reaffirming Canada’s commitment to personal and religious freedom,” said Prem Singh Vinning, WSO President.”

The BQ’s February 15 motion, proposing that the House of Commons ban kirpans, was the federal party’s strategy to show support for the Quebec National Assembly’s decision to bar kirpan-wearing Sikhs from government buildings in Quebec.

la bete goes on- more Xenophobic follies!

Read more:

http://www.montrealgazette.com/life/Quebec+National+Assembly+supports+Sikhs+wearing+kirpans/4253741/story.html#ixzz1ERqShAX6

Read more:

http://www.montrealgazette.com/life/Crucifix+stays+Assembly/

4288014/story.html#ixzz1ERsZDu9E

http://www.suite101.com/content/sikhs-invited-to-quebec-national-assembly-then-denied-entry-a334784#ixzz1ERrBjG5i


http://www.worldsikh.org/in-the-news/sikh-community-speaks-out-against-quebec-kirpan-ban


Read more: http://www.canada.com/life/Sikhs+disappointed+vote+barring+kirpans+from+Quebec+assembly/4254535/story.html#ixzz1ETGE5DRv

Read more: http://www.montrealgazette.com/life/Quebec+National+Assembly+supports+Sikhs+wearing+kirpans/4253741/story.html#ixzz1ESp41pfD

http://thelinkpaper.ca/?p=4557

.

it's Xenophobia Month in Quebec!

warning:  the following post contains irony, twisted logic and trace elements of the pathetic.

La Metropole - July 2010

The cartoon was published in the July 2010 issue of La Metropole in Quebec. It depicts a Hasidic Jew calling to passengers from his cab, labeled Taxi de David, “Come in! May Yaveh be with you ...”

The headline reads, “A taxi transformed into a ... synagogue?”



Much to their credit, so many people communicated their disgust - in both official languages - that La Metropole issued a fast, if slightly loose apology... but one still has to wonder how it was "they saw nothing offensive in it" in the first place.

the real Arieh Perecowicz & the guilty dashboard

It was "inspired" by the case of one Arieh Perecowicz, a Montreal cab driver whose dashboard featured photos of his family, religious artifacts, a couple of flags and a Remembrance Day poppy.

He is 65 years old, and has more than 40 years experience driving cab in Montreal. As he points out "In 43 years, no one has said they were offended or opened the door to take another taxi...".

Nonetheless, a municipal court judge has ruled that Mr. Perecowicz is guilty of violating city bylaws and fined him a total of about $1,000, which may or may not be above and beyond the six tickets, totaling $1,400 in fines he's received from the Bureau du taxi.


Mr. Perecowicz feels that there is an element of religious discrimination and hypocrisy here, given that there is a crucifix hanging over the Speaker's chair in the Quebec National (sic) Assembly.

He says he is going to appeal the verdict, and is ready to take the case as far as the Supreme Court.
I understand his feelings, but he may be setting his hopes for justice a little high...

***

meanwhile, in another court room,
not so very far away

 

In one of those "you can't make this up" moments, the Supreme Court of Canada rejected a defamation class-action lawsuit by a group of Haitian and Arab taxi upset by remarks made
by a Montreal shock-jock talk-show host-turned politician.

In an 8-1 ruling, the court said Arthur's right
to a diatribe trumped an attempt to gain compensation by 1,110 cab drivers who were humiliated by his diatribe.

Gee- he doesn't look like he talks through his ass!

Mr. Arthur’s rant referred to Creole as speaking ‘nigger,’ and called drivers of Arab origin 'fakirs',
as well as insights like:

“Why is it that there are so many incompetent people and that the language of work is Creole or Arabic in a city that’s French and English? … Taxis have really become the Third World of public transportation in Montreal. …

***

as strange/sad/stupid/etc as these two cases
might be, we've only just scratched the surface of Xenophobia Month in La Belle Province.

Don't believe me? Check this out.

SOURCES

see the taxi!

the true story of the evil dashboard

meet the man that talks with his ass!

.

Another Canadian Day...

well.

here we are.

i'm not feeling quite
as strong and free
as i used to...

might be the flu.

-30-

A Newbie's Guide to Canadian Government - The Greens

... a quick and easy guide for Canadians
who may have forgotten that we even
have a government with parties
and everything...
and for people watching from abroad
who may well be wondering "W.T.F. Canada?"



the Green Party

Greens have experienced considerable voter buy-in over the years in Europe, but in Canada, they are a niche brand in the national market. Their roots run back to a modest platform shared by a few candidates in the Maritimes in 1980, who unofficially known as the Small Party, and Green (Canada) Ltd. was founded in 1983.

Twenty-five years later, this super-cute party idea have captured the hearts of nearly 7% of Canadian voters and they now field candidates in every riding across the Canada.

Unfortunately, Canada's 'first past the post' voting system means that while the Bloc can translate 10 % of the popular vote into as many as 54 seats in Parliament, the Greens have yet to elect a single member. The closest they have come so far is when a member sitting as an independent decided to 'go green' but before he could sit in Parliament as the first Green member, an election was called and he was defeated.

"How" one might ask "how could a political party dedicated to the proposition that Green is the New Black fail to capture the imagination of voters who think so too?"

How indeed?

It may be that the Greens are Too Progessive - in the best left style, their firing squads usually form a circle, instead of the traditional straight line. This can give their leadership conventions the ambiance of Paris during the Terror.

It may be that the voters don't take them nearly as seriously as they take themselves.
 

It might seem the Greens have been almost radically ineffective as a political party - an "epic fail" - but this would be neither fair nor accurate.

Despite the fact that 93% of the voters refuse to give them a hug, they have had a substantial impact on Canadian political ecology, one that could be usefully compared to the impact of kudzu on gardening south of the Mason-Dixon line or the cane toad on pets in Northern Australia.

 

Like other invasive species, the Greens compete for available resources food anywhere they appear.

Their efforts over the years have ensured that a number of Conservative candidates have been elected in ridings where they would otherwise have gone down to defeat.

In a curious case of "payback's a bitch", Green leader Elizabeth May lost to Conservative Peter McKay in Central Nova, even though more people voted against McKay than for him.
The final tally?
Conservatives: 18,240... Greens: 12,620...NDP: 7,659.


VOTE FOR THE GREEN PARTY IF:
- you love this kind of irony
- you feel like spoiling your ballot,
   but you want it to be counted.

A Newbie's Guide to Canadian Government - Le Bloc

... a quick and easy guide for Canadians
who may have forgotten we have a government
with parties and everything...
and for people watching from abroad
who may well be wondering "W.T.F. Canada?"

the Bloc Quebecois

 

'Le Bloc' are the appendix of the Canadian body politic - ie - on a good day, useless and inert; on a bad one, something requiring rapid expensive professional attention.

In one of those ironies Canadians enjoy so much, their leader Gilles Duceppe happens to be the longest serving leader of a party in Canada's Parliament. 

Pourquoi this is ironique, you ask?
Bonne question!

Alors, because in theory as the farm club of the Parti Quebecois, Le Bloc are dedicated to the deconstruction
of Canada
as we know it... 

...via Quebec's reincarnation as a 16th century Euro-boutique-style nation, with a reputation for table dancers, strong beer and interesting cheese... and the potential to be a powerful new player in the global market for commemorative postage stamps.

Despite decades of discussion, the details of this blessed event remain a pink and fuzzy thing in any tongue. Among the 'oui!' votes yet to be counted are the Cree, Innu and Mohawk people, who have not to date indicated a mad desire to be part of le nouveau paye. 

Without them - and their traditional territories -  Quebec The Country will be little more than a few arpents along the St. Lawrence River, with an enlarged deficit and alienated neighbours. 

Electorally-speaking then, Le Bloc are a very expensive abstention. Given their vow to never participate" in a federal government, they could more accurately be seen as Canada's only federally funded provincial lobby group.

If there is an upside to this otherwise sad scenario, it's the promise that in the event of the creation of a sovereign Quebec, the Bloc will disband and become dust in the wind. 

Duh.

In that event, of course, the question of M. Duceppe's eligibility for a federal pension - and whether or not that constitutes 'participating' in a federal government, remains an open question.


VOTE FOR LE BLOC IF: 
Sorry. If you don't live in Quebec, you can't vote for - or against - the Bloc.
If you do, your decision, oui ou non, is probably a fait accompli, n'est-ce pas?

- next- cherchez Les Vertes! -

A Newbie's Guide to Canadian Government - Conservatives

... a quick and easy guide for Canadians
who may have forgotten we have a government
with parties and everything...
and for people watching from abroad
who may well be wondering "W.T.F. Canada?"

The Conservatives

this ain't no party.
this ain't no disco.
this is business.

After several years of stormy courtship, an aging Bay Street dowager and a slick young Cowtown grifter finally consumated their lust for power. Soon after that untimely congress,  the issue of their loins appeared and was christened 'the Conservative Party of Canada'.

Splicing the DNA of the (formerly) Progressive Conservatives and the Reform party (formerly the Canadian Alliance) with the nasty side of the American Republican Party,  Canada's newest national brand brought small-town, strip-mall thinking into the 90s. The 'Full Nanaimo' was front and centre on the national stage.

The timing was awesome. With the Liberals into the decadent phase of their electoral moon and well overdue for a spanking, Canada's newest brand was well-poised to run up the middle. 

Endorsed by less than 40% of Canadian voters, in a few short years, Mr. Harper has already assumed an attitude of supreme power. By ignoring the law, Parliamentary tradition and even the will of the people, he has had an impact well beyond his alleged mandate, nationally and around the world. 

His 'bring it on' attitude towards global warming has other  countries leaving the room when we step up to speak.

Women and children in Canada are in worse shape economically and legally than they were 2006, and their situation is not expected to improve anytime in the near future.

His unquestioning support of Israel has single-handedly reversed decades of Canadian diplomatic policy in the Middle East in favour of his own personal preference .  

For the first time since Confederation,
our international reputation and our
influence is in a steady decline.

Once known for our sense of fair play, modesty and innovative solutions, Canada has exchanged decades of hard-earned credibility for a role as an American satellite, the classic Chihuahua running along behind the big dog, barking 'me too, me too'.

The contemporary Canadian Conservatives (sic) are not so much a political party as a cult. At the centre is a Supreme Galactic Leader, source of all love, money and whatever... and from day 1, the Supreme Galactic Leader has  been Stephen Harper. 

Like Torquemada and any given ayatollah, Mr. Harper is perfectly certain of his divine purpose: the questions once traditional in Canadian democracy are now heresy; any suggestion that he may have made a mistake is an abomination in ears of this WallMart Mussolini.   

While loyal followers await his appearance on slices of toast, other Canadians have learned to live in fear of the sociopathic side of his Harpieness. He has made it clear that he is capable of anything, and he will not be constrained by outdated conventions like 'democracy' or 'balanced budgets'.

Given his active dislike of Canadians, public appearances - hockey arenas, Parliament, the family room - are almost as difficult for Mr. Harper to do as it is for others to watch. He can, and does, manifest on occasion...

... sometimes in a cardigan,
petting a kitty-kat...

and sometimes at Tim's, where his pantomime of a Canadian having a coffee can make even the most apolitical Canuck cringe with embarrassment.

For obvious reasons, He prefers to keep these manifestations to a minimum...

On ceremonial occasions, He appears in a business suit, usually with his set of 143 matching finger puppets, known officially as 'the Conservative MPs'.




His contempt for Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition, Parliament and other essentials of the democratic process are the stuff of legend.

For a party that pays fat lip service to its allegedly Christian roots, the Conservatives have a very liberal attitude to hypocrisy...

- in opposition, Mr. Harper raved against the appointing of senators. In power, Mr. Harper has appointed more senators than any other Prime Minister in Canadian history - 33 new (Conservative) senators  in less than 3 years...

- promising fiscal restraint, the Conservatives spent the 13 billion dollar surplus they inherited from the Liberals well before the recent goobal financial meltdown crisis began. Since then, they have spent more money - faster - than any government in Canadian history.  

Even these amazing achievements pale beside the one no Canadian would have believed was even possible- He's made Brian Mulroney look like statesman, a real stand-up guy.

Some feel Mr. Harper's greatest achievement is yet to come- that his current cultural blitzkreig of 'deny, defy and crucify' will disgust and alienate just enough voters that his thirty-something per cent of believers will be enough to  give him the majority he so clearly  believes he is entitled to...

... at which point he can really
get down to business...


VOTE CONSERVATIVE IF:
- You think President For Life has a nice ring to it.
- You have always envied the special status
   Puerto Ricans enjoy in United States.
- You want the trains to run on time.
- You'll rest easier knowing those lazy
   grandkids are going to have shitty lives. 

- next... Le Bloc! -

It's a Conservative thing...

Stephen Harper, Conservative, Parliament, Canada,
prorogue, fiat, dictator, democracy, Ottawa, dugg

-30-