22.11.09

Marshall McLuhan said...






"Good taste is the first refuge of the non creative. 

It is the last ditch stand of the artist."

Mcluhan, Marshall








 



 



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21.11.09

Great Moments in Irony



A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.

Jessamyn West




"I once talked to an old cannibal who, hearing of the Great War raging in Europe, was most curious to know how we Europeans managed to each such huge quantities of human flesh. When I told him the Europeans did not eat their slain foes, he looked at me with shocked horror and asked what sort of barbarians we were, to kill without any real object."

Bronislaw Malinowski



 

“My mother never saw the irony
in calling me a son-of-a-bitch”

Jack Nicholson





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Hipster talk





...language has always fascinated me, both its' absence a la pre-verbal kids, and the ways smaller groups create and use their own terminology to control access to the group, how much other people know about your business and as one on those areas of everyday life- like clothes, cars, gardens and christmas lights -  where the creativity of 'regular' people can be seen in all it's glory...


here's some examples of hipster jargon from the 40s and 50s. some of them are amazingly poetic, some truly hardass, all interesting...



BARBECUE: A hot-looking lady.

BOIL MY CABBAGE: Blues slang for sex.

BUCKET OF BLOOD: A spit and sawdust bar.

BUNK HABIT: Lounging around while others smoke opium, and inhaling the fumes.

BUTTER-AND-EGG: Out-of-town sucker, free with his money.

CHICAGO OVERCOAT: Coffin.

CHICAGO LIGHTNING: Gunfire.

COLD MEAT PARTY: A funeral.

COMMUNITY JOY RIDE: A druggie party.

DEAD SOLDIERS: Empty beer bottles.

DIME DROPPER: An informer (someone who drops a dime in payphone to call the cops).

FACE LIKE A RUSSIAN FLAG: Embarrassed, ie red.

FLORIDA HONEYMOON: A dirty weekend.

FREE TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT: Out of work, unemployed.

HAEMOPHILIA OF THE LARYNX: A blabbermouth.

HARLEM SUNSET: Knife wounds.

HAVE ONE ON THE CITY: Drink some water.

HOT SQUAT/JUICE JOLT: The electric chair.

JACK RABBIT BLOOD: Habitual prison escaper.

KNOW YOUR GROCERIES: Be hip, aware, alert to the situation.

LONGHAIRS: Non-hipsters, squares, lovers of straight music.

MATTRESS ROUTE: Sleeping your way to the top.

MOOSE-EYES: A leering dude.

OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE: Vintage liquor or wine.

PREPARING BAIT: Putting on makeup.

PULLING THE DUTCH ACT: Committing suicide.

RIDING ACADEMY: Brothel.

ROUNDHEELS: Party girl (deriving from a supposed natural ability to regularly fall over backwards).

THE SCRAMBLE EGG TREATMENT: A sex show.

SCREWED, BLUED AND TATTOOED: A wild night out.

SINHOUND: A priest.

SNIFFING ARIZONA PERFUME: Going to the gas chamber.

STRAIGHT FROM THE FRIDGE: Cool. Obviously.

TAKEN OFF THE PAYROLL: Killed/assassinated.

THAT VIBRATES ME: I'm impressed, I really like it.

THROW THAT DIRT IN YOUR FACE: Being buried.

TORSO-TOSSER: Hootchie-coochie dancer, stripper.

VOMIT ON THE TABLE: Speak up.

WEEK AT THE KNEES: Unsuccessful courtship.

YOUR ROOF IS LEAKING: You're a bit crazy.





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16.11.09

New words to live by...

some thoughts worth keeping
in mind during the days ahead...











 












stay tuned...










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Saying the unspeakable

One of the keys to doing anything successfully with other people in this world is good communication. This has become harder and harder over the years, with the rise of the MBAs and the corporatization of virtually all human activities.

Few things represent this managerial regime better than the acronym- allegedly a tool for efficiency but in reality a meta-level of jargon, more often used to exclude people from divining meaning than to enhance group understanding of anything at all.

Like so many weapons of control, this has often been subverted by those it was meant to contain and nowhere more effectively than among those serving in the armed forces...

Should you ever find yourself in Iraq or Afghanistan, these may help you make a new friend...




Miltary acronyms

ACE: Ask Chief Everything!


ARMY: Arn't Ready to be Marines Yet!


ARMY: AF Rejected Me Yesterday


BOHICA: Bend Over, Here It Comes Again!


BOSS: Being On Ships Sucks!





BUFF: Big Ugly ****in' Forklift!


CRS: Can't Remember ****!


****: Cilvilan under navel Training


CYA: Cover Your Ass!


DEH: Don't Expect Help!


DICK: Dedicated Infantry Combat Killer.


DILLIGAF: Does it look like I give a ****!


EUSTIS: Even Uncle Sam Thinks It Sucks!


F.A.R.T.: Flatulent Airborne Reaction Team


FIDO: **** It, Drive On!


FIFO: Fit In or **** Off!


FIGMO: **** It, Got My Orders!


FILTAB: **** it, let's take a break!


FLIF: Falkland Islands Laundry Facility


FNG: ****in' New Guy!


FRED: ****ing Retard Extra Dumb.


FT EUSTIS: **** This, Even Uncle Sam Thinks It Sucks!


FTA: **** The Army!


FUBAR: ****ed Up Beyond All Repair!


FUBAR: ****ed Up Beyond Any Recognition


G2G: Good To Go!


HMFIC: Head Mother ****er In Charge.


HUOA: Head Up Ones Ass!


I&I: Intoxication and Intercourse.


KMD: Kiss My Dick!


LGH: Let's Go Home!


LLMF: Lost Like a Mother ****er.


LOST: Looking Over Strange Terrain.


MARINE: Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential


MARINES: Many Americans Running Into Never Ending ****


MARINES: My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment, Sir!


MRE: Meals Rejected by Ethiopians!


MRE: Meals Rejected by the Enemy!


NAVY: Never Again Volunteer Yourself!


NAVY: Need Any Vaseline Yet?


NBC: No Body Cares!


NCO: No Chance Outside


OMGIF: Oh My God, I'm ****ed.


PENIS: Pointless Exercise Not Involving Soldiers.


PFC: Proud ****in' Civilian!


S&E: Salute 'N Execute!


S&G: ****s 'N Giggles!


****: Special High Intensity Training!


SNAFU: Situation Normal, All ****ed Up!


SONFI: Switched Off Not ****ing Interested


SPFO: Some Place ****ing Off!


SWAG: Scientific Wild Ass Guess!


TARFU: Things Are Really ****ed Up.


TEWT: Training Exercise Without Troops.


TURD: Trainee Under Rigid Discipline.


USARMY: Uncle Sam Ain't Released Me Yet! Backwards: Yes My Retarded Ass Signed Up


USARMY: Used, Screwed, And Released My Ass, Yep


USCG: Uncle Sam's Confused Group


USMC: Uncle Sams Misguided Childern


USMC: Unlimited **** Mass Confusion


USMC: U Suckers Missed Christmas


USMC: Urine Samples Make Civilians


USAF: U Suckers Are Fairies


YMRASU: Yes My Retarded Ass Signed Up!  



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10.11.09

these are a few of my favourite trees


the more i am exposed to the news,
the more i like trees.

here are a few from some
recent wanderings....











 






 











 













 




















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8.11.09

meanwhile, at the pandemic

the latest distaste in my mouth....






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7.11.09

More Great Canadian Cities Demotivators

... from our continuing series
saluting urban centres
north of 49....









Maugerville, New Brunswick






Moosejaw, Saskatchewan





 

Mundare, Alberta





more to come...



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