31.12.09

Famous Last Words





one of the real upsides of fame
is that when your time of dying comes,
there often seems to be someone
around to write down 

your last words...




"What is the question?"
Gertrude Stein, writer



"Why not? Why not? Why not? Why not? Yeah."
Timothy Leary, gadfly



"I'm tired. "
Ava Gardner, actress



"Whose house is this?
What street are we in?
Why did you bring me here?"
William Cullen Bryant, poet



"It's been a long time
since I've had champagne."
Anton Chekhov, writer



"I should never have switched
from Scotch to Martinis."
Humphrey Bogart, actor



"Codeine . . . bourbon."
Tallulah Bankhead, actress



"How were the receipts today
at Madison Square Garden?"
P. T. Barnum, impressario


"Josephine..."
Napoleon Bonaparte, emperor


"I am still alive!"
Caligula, emperor
(when stabbed by his own guards)



"I've never felt better."
Douglas Fairbanks, Sr., actor


"Well, we fooled 'em for a long time, didn't we?"
William Henry "Zip the Pinhead" Johnson, carnie


"The sun is God."
 J. M. W. Turner, painter
 





-30-

Stumble Upon Toolbar

What? More Despair?

... yes, more. 

i think it's all of these year-end/decade
in review articles and programs....
they make me cross about things

all over again...
























Conservatives, Canada, Stephen Harper, politics, ice, winter, fishing,
freedom, Ottawa, parliament, prime minister






-30-


Stumble Upon Toolbar

30.12.09

The Despair Continues



... they say it's better than 
keeping it all bottled up inside....








 






 





 





 






 




Palin Iran Seagal Lennon Imagine Tyler Aerosmith "Culture Club"
"Boy George" "Sarah Palin" Republican



-30-



Stumble Upon Toolbar

If Muslims Acted More Like Christians



... here's a very interesting piece-
what if the rhetoric and actions
of "the War on Drugs" came
all the way home?













hmmm...


Muslim, Christian, DEA, drugs, alcohol, law, "war on drugs"
terror, OPEC, victims, danger, rights, freedom, respect,
prohibition, belief, faith, privilege



-30-


Stumble Upon Toolbar

29.12.09

Sarah Palin vs Obama







an explanation that makes
as much sense as many....






Sarah Palin Obama Nobel politics




-30-

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Stories from the Street

another great moment in graffiti...







graffiti "street art" attitude

-30-



Stumble Upon Toolbar

Does the Truth Hurt?

i guess who feels it knows it....











Hummer penis cartoon men masculine size humour


-30-

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Now THAT'S Funny....

seriously... what a great piece of work...






"knock knock" Jesus Christian humor Stumble


-30-



Stumble Upon Toolbar

27.12.09

Winter

Wow. I'm even more excited.






winter Despair humor Canada Muskoka scary

-30-


Stumble Upon Toolbar

Olympic Fever!

Wow. I am so excited.







winter Olympics Canada Vancouver Whistler Despair 2010 VANOC
mittens hockey skiing bobsled BC podium silver gold bronze




-30- 

Stumble Upon Toolbar

17.12.09

Winter... the sequel...



Nothing says winter like the first snow...

the second snow says something else.






































 

















stay tuned.
there's more winter to come...







-30-





Stumble Upon Toolbar

9.12.09

It's winter!

 Nothing says winter like the first snow.










The forecast says
maybe up to 48 inches
by the weekend...


with some sort
of slush interlude
en route...









 






In a small town, 
you stay on top
of these things.


Or else.

 
















It's been really quiet
for about 2 weeks...


a wonderful silence
settled when the last leaf blower
and the last chain saw 

got put away...
















...til today, when I encountered
my first high-performance  

snowmobile. 


They are something like
the muscle cars 
of the sixties.


'Stangs


Camaros


Firebirds.




Here comes The Judge.








Without the chrome.


Without the laquer.

Without the upholstery.



Without the mufflers.






Without the road.












The other great thing 
about snow
is that it's all
about the bright. 



If there's light, you get it twice.  






And when the dark starts 
coming on by 3 
in the afternoon, 
that counts.





















I'm counting the days until the winter solstice.






-30-  

Stumble Upon Toolbar

8.12.09

Olympic thinking

big snow today- can't help feeling kind of Olympic 2010...








-30-





Stumble Upon Toolbar

5.12.09

a walk in the city




last weekend i went to a meeting in toronto.
i was there for 24 hours.








i was planning to stay longer,
but after 24 hours, i was very happy to be

on a bus headed north.








the visual stimulation was overwhelming
and the soundscape was very intense.
it felt like my brain was undergoing acupuncture
therapy by unhappy practitioners.










it struck me that i take pictures of environments
like this to simplify them to a level
my thoughts can process...
maybe even see beauty where my first reaction
is one of profound alienation.



 




up north, people on the street expect you to say hi.
there, the only people on the street i talked to
were people who live there.




 




i think it's why i like to see street art so much.




 




it makes the city seem less lonely.




-30-



Stumble Upon Toolbar

22.11.09

Marshall McLuhan said...






"Good taste is the first refuge of the non creative. 

It is the last ditch stand of the artist."

Mcluhan, Marshall








 



 



-30-



Stumble Upon Toolbar

21.11.09

Great Moments in Irony



A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.

Jessamyn West




"I once talked to an old cannibal who, hearing of the Great War raging in Europe, was most curious to know how we Europeans managed to each such huge quantities of human flesh. When I told him the Europeans did not eat their slain foes, he looked at me with shocked horror and asked what sort of barbarians we were, to kill without any real object."

Bronislaw Malinowski



 

“My mother never saw the irony
in calling me a son-of-a-bitch”

Jack Nicholson





-30-



Stumble Upon Toolbar

Hipster talk





...language has always fascinated me, both its' absence a la pre-verbal kids, and the ways smaller groups create and use their own terminology to control access to the group, how much other people know about your business and as one on those areas of everyday life- like clothes, cars, gardens and christmas lights -  where the creativity of 'regular' people can be seen in all it's glory...


here's some examples of hipster jargon from the 40s and 50s. some of them are amazingly poetic, some truly hardass, all interesting...



BARBECUE: A hot-looking lady.

BOIL MY CABBAGE: Blues slang for sex.

BUCKET OF BLOOD: A spit and sawdust bar.

BUNK HABIT: Lounging around while others smoke opium, and inhaling the fumes.

BUTTER-AND-EGG: Out-of-town sucker, free with his money.

CHICAGO OVERCOAT: Coffin.

CHICAGO LIGHTNING: Gunfire.

COLD MEAT PARTY: A funeral.

COMMUNITY JOY RIDE: A druggie party.

DEAD SOLDIERS: Empty beer bottles.

DIME DROPPER: An informer (someone who drops a dime in payphone to call the cops).

FACE LIKE A RUSSIAN FLAG: Embarrassed, ie red.

FLORIDA HONEYMOON: A dirty weekend.

FREE TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT: Out of work, unemployed.

HAEMOPHILIA OF THE LARYNX: A blabbermouth.

HARLEM SUNSET: Knife wounds.

HAVE ONE ON THE CITY: Drink some water.

HOT SQUAT/JUICE JOLT: The electric chair.

JACK RABBIT BLOOD: Habitual prison escaper.

KNOW YOUR GROCERIES: Be hip, aware, alert to the situation.

LONGHAIRS: Non-hipsters, squares, lovers of straight music.

MATTRESS ROUTE: Sleeping your way to the top.

MOOSE-EYES: A leering dude.

OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE: Vintage liquor or wine.

PREPARING BAIT: Putting on makeup.

PULLING THE DUTCH ACT: Committing suicide.

RIDING ACADEMY: Brothel.

ROUNDHEELS: Party girl (deriving from a supposed natural ability to regularly fall over backwards).

THE SCRAMBLE EGG TREATMENT: A sex show.

SCREWED, BLUED AND TATTOOED: A wild night out.

SINHOUND: A priest.

SNIFFING ARIZONA PERFUME: Going to the gas chamber.

STRAIGHT FROM THE FRIDGE: Cool. Obviously.

TAKEN OFF THE PAYROLL: Killed/assassinated.

THAT VIBRATES ME: I'm impressed, I really like it.

THROW THAT DIRT IN YOUR FACE: Being buried.

TORSO-TOSSER: Hootchie-coochie dancer, stripper.

VOMIT ON THE TABLE: Speak up.

WEEK AT THE KNEES: Unsuccessful courtship.

YOUR ROOF IS LEAKING: You're a bit crazy.





-30-





Stumble Upon Toolbar

16.11.09

New words to live by...

some thoughts worth keeping
in mind during the days ahead...











 












stay tuned...










-30-





Stumble Upon Toolbar

Saying the unspeakable

One of the keys to doing anything successfully with other people in this world is good communication. This has become harder and harder over the years, with the rise of the MBAs and the corporatization of virtually all human activities.

Few things represent this managerial regime better than the acronym- allegedly a tool for efficiency but in reality a meta-level of jargon, more often used to exclude people from divining meaning than to enhance group understanding of anything at all.

Like so many weapons of control, this has often been subverted by those it was meant to contain and nowhere more effectively than among those serving in the armed forces...

Should you ever find yourself in Iraq or Afghanistan, these may help you make a new friend...




Miltary acronyms

ACE: Ask Chief Everything!


ARMY: Arn't Ready to be Marines Yet!


ARMY: AF Rejected Me Yesterday


BOHICA: Bend Over, Here It Comes Again!


BOSS: Being On Ships Sucks!





BUFF: Big Ugly ****in' Forklift!


CRS: Can't Remember ****!


****: Cilvilan under navel Training


CYA: Cover Your Ass!


DEH: Don't Expect Help!


DICK: Dedicated Infantry Combat Killer.


DILLIGAF: Does it look like I give a ****!


EUSTIS: Even Uncle Sam Thinks It Sucks!


F.A.R.T.: Flatulent Airborne Reaction Team


FIDO: **** It, Drive On!


FIFO: Fit In or **** Off!


FIGMO: **** It, Got My Orders!


FILTAB: **** it, let's take a break!


FLIF: Falkland Islands Laundry Facility


FNG: ****in' New Guy!


FRED: ****ing Retard Extra Dumb.


FT EUSTIS: **** This, Even Uncle Sam Thinks It Sucks!


FTA: **** The Army!


FUBAR: ****ed Up Beyond All Repair!


FUBAR: ****ed Up Beyond Any Recognition


G2G: Good To Go!


HMFIC: Head Mother ****er In Charge.


HUOA: Head Up Ones Ass!


I&I: Intoxication and Intercourse.


KMD: Kiss My Dick!


LGH: Let's Go Home!


LLMF: Lost Like a Mother ****er.


LOST: Looking Over Strange Terrain.


MARINE: Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential


MARINES: Many Americans Running Into Never Ending ****


MARINES: My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment, Sir!


MRE: Meals Rejected by Ethiopians!


MRE: Meals Rejected by the Enemy!


NAVY: Never Again Volunteer Yourself!


NAVY: Need Any Vaseline Yet?


NBC: No Body Cares!


NCO: No Chance Outside


OMGIF: Oh My God, I'm ****ed.


PENIS: Pointless Exercise Not Involving Soldiers.


PFC: Proud ****in' Civilian!


S&E: Salute 'N Execute!


S&G: ****s 'N Giggles!


****: Special High Intensity Training!


SNAFU: Situation Normal, All ****ed Up!


SONFI: Switched Off Not ****ing Interested


SPFO: Some Place ****ing Off!


SWAG: Scientific Wild Ass Guess!


TARFU: Things Are Really ****ed Up.


TEWT: Training Exercise Without Troops.


TURD: Trainee Under Rigid Discipline.


USARMY: Uncle Sam Ain't Released Me Yet! Backwards: Yes My Retarded Ass Signed Up


USARMY: Used, Screwed, And Released My Ass, Yep


USCG: Uncle Sam's Confused Group


USMC: Uncle Sams Misguided Childern


USMC: Unlimited **** Mass Confusion


USMC: U Suckers Missed Christmas


USMC: Urine Samples Make Civilians


USAF: U Suckers Are Fairies


YMRASU: Yes My Retarded Ass Signed Up!  



-30-





Stumble Upon Toolbar

10.11.09

these are a few of my favourite trees


the more i am exposed to the news,
the more i like trees.

here are a few from some
recent wanderings....











 






 











 













 




















-30-




Stumble Upon Toolbar

8.11.09

meanwhile, at the pandemic

the latest distaste in my mouth....






-30-


Stumble Upon Toolbar