salt, Sodom and so on

One day on the plains of Mamre, three guys come up to Abraham, looking for hospitality. He gives them some and they hint like maybe they are angels - a possibility that seems probable when Yahweh suddenly drops by.

He says He wants to brimstone Sodom and Gomorrah. He's had "complaints" about wickedness and sinning exceedingly. Abraham feels Yahweh is going off the deep end, so he haggles with Him til they agree that if 10 good people can be found, Yahweh won't go nuclear.

Since Abe's son Lot lives in Sodom, he sub-contracts but as it turns out Sodom is actually pretty nasty. No sooner are the angels get to Lot's place than Sodomites turn up, wanting sex with them. Lot says no, and counter-offers with his daughters.

"They're virgins" he says "do to them whatever you like".

"What part of gay don't you get?" the Sodomites reply and seek to get all pre-medieval on Lot's ass. Finally, the angels say "Enough already"! They blind the evil ones, then tell Lot that Yahweh's exercising his nuclear option.

"Seriously" they say "walk and don't look back". Lot and his family start walking, but Lot's wife stops, looks back and is turned into a pillar of salt.

Since they aren't looking back, Lot and his daughters don't even notice. When Lot finds a nice cave nearby, his daughters get him drunk and have sex with him.

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