Nightmare on Harper Street - the Bruce Carson Story

After his heart troubles started, Utah Phillips used to tell people he was on a low social-cholesterol diet... no fat heads... and it's in this spirit i've been staying away from any kind of media coverage of the federal election this time.

It's not easy for a political junkie to quit cold turkey, but electorally-speaking, I was already pre-depressed when the writ came down.

I loathe the prime minister. Just the sound of his voice his voice induces bleeding in some of my favourite orifices - actually listening to the what he's saying is like holding a Taser to my forehead and squeezing the trigger.

As for his minions, familiars and the other rent boys that run with him, there are rumours they
all had to take vows of silence before their riding documents got signed. If true, it's the epitome
of a mixed blessing.

Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition

The other parties all seem to be running on
the "we're not him" ticket. A quick scan of their "visions" will probably put most people to sleep
and anyone who actually reads them may experience a craving for lithium.

A praeternaturally cheerful individual on a sunny day in spring might call them "uninspired", but
I am not that person.

To be brief, they are lame beyond measure,
so far inside The Box that the
only people who might find them "distinctive" would be the ones who created them up... and "distinctive" is still several area codes distant from "inspiring".

This is not arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. This is folding the napkins...


Despite this antipathy, I found myself reading everything I could find tonight about Bruce Carson. Those of you who have been taking their soundbyte supplements cannot imagine the neurological impact of taking it all in at once.

It's a saga! It's an epic tale! It's fricken' Beowolf!

Now I'm inspired... so inspired we're going
to need a sequel here...


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