let's make a Deal

According to legend, it was on May 24, 1626 that Peter Minuit aka Pete Midnight purchased the island of Manhattan for some $60 worth of trading goods from the original inhabitants. The 'deal', if indeed there was one, remains shrouded in mystery however.

Strangely, given the importance of the transaction, Mr. Minuit neglected to get a receipt. This may have something to do with the fact that no indigenous person had a concept of owning - let alone selling - land, anymore than they had of selling the water in a river or the wind.

It's possible what Minuit saw as a real estate deal was regarded by the parties of the second part as just a stranger in the hood trying to curry favour with warriors who could have bloodied their boney white butts.

There is also some question as to whether or not Minuit cut his deal with the Lenape people, whose traditional lands included Manhattan or with the Canarsee people, who lived on Long Island and just happened to be passing by on their way home.

Be that as it may, centuries later it's a fait accompli and that purchase price now will not even buy a pair of tickets to see Manhhattan Transfer live in Boise.

*

what sucks?

the Thylacine

on extinction







*

Luke, I am your father

Darth, I am your son.







*

it's here in Black and White

clearly, there's a law against it now






*

"It worked!" Her smile spead across her face like a ray of sunshine. Emily lowered her arms and watched as Tom and Mary lowered theirs a moment later. She raised hers again and smiled as the they did too, then closed her eyes and frowned.

"Spin" she said, standing perfectly still and when she opened her eyes, they were twirling like tops. Lowering her arms, she strolled around them as they got dizzy and began to stumble a bit. "Faster" she snapped and nodded as they stumbled to obey.

Just as the twins reached the point of projectile vomiting, she made them stop and stand at ease. Grandmother was right, she decided, the old ways were the best.

*

the tears of a Clown

The wedding had gone perfectly. Her months of planning had paid off at last and even the bitchiest of her bridesmaids would have trouble finding anything to trash talk about while she and Randall were honeymooning in Helsinki.

She was pleasantly surprised when her new husband presented her with the gaily-wrapped gift box in the bedroom of their suite and murmured "your trouseau, my dear" as he left the room.

Priscilla considered herself a modern woman. She'd studied enough issues of Cosmo while preparing for the wedding that she wasn't shocked when she opened it and found a complete maid's ensemble from days gone by, and even enjoyed the racy thoughts that passed through her mind as she donned it, piece by piece.

What did surprise her was opening the bedroom door and seeing Randall in whiteface and a white silk jumper, down on all fours.

"Randall, why are you dressed up as some sort of Harlequin?" 

"W-w-well, actually more of a Pierrot, dear... to be precise" he mumbled, wishing that his hat hadn't fallen off just prior to Priscilla entering the room.

"Come here, Randall" she said, crossly "Here. Right now".

*

it's another day on the internet

everyone with access to the net
is probably addicted.

sometimes this means
changing old priorities...

day in, day out

searching, searching, always hoping...

and in the end...

peace.






*

the Big Rapture rip-off

well, the big day came...and the big day went.

Harold Camping promised - and not for the first time - that on May 21st The Rapture was coming in full effect...

a lot of people believed in what he said,
and were really counting on him!

...others were cautiously optimistic,

or perhaps opportunistic
might be a better word.

a lot of Christians are really into the whole Rapture thing. some might say the whole belief structure is predicated on it.

and The Waiting has been going on
for a couple of thousand years...

Mr. Camping is not the first to predict
the arrival of the Rapture. it's actually
a pretty common event among self-proclaimed prophets. 

Mr. Camping has already set out
another Rapture date for later this year-
one can safely assume that if that one
doesn't come through, he'll come up
with another one.

how is this not an indicator
of a mental illness?


how is this any different
from yelling "Fire!"
in a crowded theatre?

i don't know.











- 30 -

Adam raised a Cain

Biblical scholars remain divided as to whether or not Cain was the first Vegan, but vis-a-vis his brother Abel, concur that it's an open and shut case of murder one.

The Lord is His infinite etc chose not to invoke the death penalty, knowing that Cain would suffer more if he spent the rest of his days in a curious form of solitary confinement before sending his soul into eternal damnation.

Thus it came to pass that Cain became the first "victim", maintaining to his dying day that it wasn't his fault and protesting aloud in his loneliness to his long-dead brother that "God always liked you best".

*

Men & women - there are differences!

women and men and men and women...

the differences are legion, legendary
and seemingly eternal.

...and the beat goes on...






*

Understanding Facebook - 10 useful graphs

i have very mixed emotions about Facebook.
i have an account there but i don't turn up much because nothing much seems to happen. i'm more likely to find something interesting by clicking the "stumble" button again than i am by reading stuff on FB.

when i do post something, there's usually
just two or three responses which out of all my 'friends' is just kind of depressing... and if there's one thing i don't need, it's more reasons to get depressed and/or ratification of my own worst fears about my own insignificance.

i keep trying to understand Facebook, though - these are graphs i found in my search
for greater understanding...

this last graph is perhaps
the most interesting one...

does this mean that Bono
may have found what he
was looking for?

*

what's in a Name?

"It's not 'Bertha the Bitchy Witch', it's 'Bertha the Witchy Bitch', you cretins" she shrieked, and turned them both into toads.

*

Adam & Eve out of the Garden

Adam & Eve out of the Garden
When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, they were cast out of the Garden and from that day onwards, they were compelled to tend their flocks and till the soil. The sun was hot, and the work was hard and every night they were weary.

One day, Adam was working in the fields among the rocks and weeds, and he said unto himself "Try the apple, Adam. It's really good, Adam. Just one bite...".

Then Eve came unto him and asked "Did you say something, dear?", and Adam was afraid.

"Just praying for a bounteous, crop, dear" he smiled, and returned to his labours. Eve gazed upon him in a dubious way, and spoke not again that day.

*

Jonah & the whale (2)

out of the Blue sea
So it was that Jonah found himself in the belly of the beast, up to his knees in gastric juices and decomposing fish, and he began to pray. He told the Lord how sorry he was and how if the Lord saw fit in His infinitely wise way to save him, Jonah would go to Nineveh. He would go directly to Nineveh, passing not even Go and he would spin unto them whatever the Lord wanted for as long as the Lord wished.

For three days and three nights, Jonah prayed like a #*&%@?*%#ker, for even though he knew he was on hold, he knew also that his call was important unto the Lord.

Eventually, the Lord stopped laughing and decided this was one chosen person who now knew who his Daddy was- and it came to pass that the fish that might have been a whale barfed Jonah unto a beach.

Bathed as he was in bile, hungry and wet, still Jonah knew that this situation sucked infinitely less, and so he raised himself to his knees and gave thanks unto the Lord for his deliverance.

*

Jonah & the whale (1)

into the Blue sea
The Lord told Jonah, son of Amittai, to go to the city of Nineveh to testify against the great wickedness in that city. But after the Lord left, Jonah reflected on how many bad hombres were there and he thought unto himself "that's just not going to happen".

So it came to pass that in Jaffa, he boarded a boat headed in the opposite direction and all was cool until a there was a major weather event and all abord were sore afraid. It could have just been a coincidence, but the sailors opted to err on the Yahweh side and threw Jonah into the sea. While Jonah freaks out, they have a barbeque and invited the Lord to help himself.

As His blood sugar levels improved, the Lord decided he would cut Jonah a little slack and lo, a giant fish... or maybe it was a whale... turned up. It opened its' vast mouth and as it swallowed him headfirst, Jonah again thought unto himself "Well, this kinda sucks".

*

another Working day

When things got a little bumpy, as they often did, Jared was as good a paramedic as anyone, and Scott knew he was lucky to have such a steady partner. If they had a pulse or a breath of life left in them, together they were the team that could get them to Emerj in time.

The DOAs were another kettle of fish, though, and Scott couldn't kid himself - when Jared started busting a move while they were wheeling them to the wagon, it really creeped him out.

*

a spell requires Sacrifice

Was there ever a creature quite so giddy as a young piglet? One alone could give itself a giggle fit, and if two young piglets played together, the older beasts in the barn yard knew there would be no peace until they had tired themselves out and gone to have a nap.

"Tee hee. Tee-hee-hee-hee!"

Ethan and Emma, the two little piglets in question burst from the bushes near the barn, with Old Tom the turkey hot on their heels.

"Oh look, Ethan, look, the leaves are turning different colors" said Emma, between giggles.

"It's fall, Emma" said Ethan, and he looked back over his hocks at Old Tom "How many more days til Thanksgiving, Old Tom?". The two of them giggled til they snorted, as though it was the funniest thing they'd ever heard.

"You little bastards" puffed a flagging Old Tom "I'm going to peck your eyes out, and then I'm going to neuter you!" His words were fierce, but the nasty little swine knew he wasn't about to catch them and just laughed a little louder.

Old Tom stopped running. He fluffed his feathers back into place, lifted up his wattled head and as he strutted away, took one last look at his porcine tormentors and gobbled...

"Go ask your saggy old sow of a mother to tell you about Easter".

*