A Newbie's Guide to Canadian Government - Le Bloc

... a quick and easy guide for Canadians
who may have forgotten we have a government
with parties and everything...
and for people watching from abroad
who may well be wondering "W.T.F. Canada?"

the Bloc Quebecois

 

'Le Bloc' are the appendix of the Canadian body politic - ie - on a good day, useless and inert; on a bad one, something requiring rapid expensive professional attention.

In one of those ironies Canadians enjoy so much, their leader Gilles Duceppe happens to be the longest serving leader of a party in Canada's Parliament. 

Pourquoi this is ironique, you ask?
Bonne question!

Alors, because in theory as the farm club of the Parti Quebecois, Le Bloc are dedicated to the deconstruction
of Canada
as we know it... 

...via Quebec's reincarnation as a 16th century Euro-boutique-style nation, with a reputation for table dancers, strong beer and interesting cheese... and the potential to be a powerful new player in the global market for commemorative postage stamps.

Despite decades of discussion, the details of this blessed event remain a pink and fuzzy thing in any tongue. Among the 'oui!' votes yet to be counted are the Cree, Innu and Mohawk people, who have not to date indicated a mad desire to be part of le nouveau paye. 

Without them - and their traditional territories -  Quebec The Country will be little more than a few arpents along the St. Lawrence River, with an enlarged deficit and alienated neighbours. 

Electorally-speaking then, Le Bloc are a very expensive abstention. Given their vow to never participate" in a federal government, they could more accurately be seen as Canada's only federally funded provincial lobby group.

If there is an upside to this otherwise sad scenario, it's the promise that in the event of the creation of a sovereign Quebec, the Bloc will disband and become dust in the wind. 

Duh.

In that event, of course, the question of M. Duceppe's eligibility for a federal pension - and whether or not that constitutes 'participating' in a federal government, remains an open question.


VOTE FOR LE BLOC IF: 
Sorry. If you don't live in Quebec, you can't vote for - or against - the Bloc.
If you do, your decision, oui ou non, is probably a fait accompli, n'est-ce pas?

- next- cherchez Les Vertes! -